Writing Tips from Wannamarry U.   

Punctuation 101

Corky Yarmouth waited for the other students to leave, then sauntered toward the teacher’s desk. How could she persuade the handsome professor that she, his ace student, was in need of private tutoring?

Professor Hungwell sat behind his desk, intent on something in his lap.

“Oh, professor.” Corky leaned forward for a peek. “What do you have there? It’s so big.”

“It’s my new dictionary,” Professor Harden Hungwell flipped through the pages.

Corky perched on the corner of his desk. “It’s terribly thick.”

“That’s because it has these wonderful appendixes in the back. I was just looking at the grammar section.” The professor glanced up. His eyes widened at the sight of her short skirt. “Miss Yarmouth, was there something you needed?”

“Yes, I have a question about…punctuation.” She crossed her legs and hoped she sounded convincing. “I don’t know what to do with those squiggly little things. It’s so hard to find the right place for them.”

“You mean commas?”

“No, I mean the ones that like to be…on top.”

“Ah, apostrophes?”

“Yes.” Corky moistened her lips. “Could you explain them to me?”

“Of course.” Hungwell closed his book. “Apostrophes are most commonly found in contractions.”

“Mmm. I just adore a strong contraction.”

He blinked. “I see. Well, apostrophes change words like should not into shouldn’t or will not into won’t.”

She reclined across his desk. “I know I shouldn’t, but what if I will?”

“Then you don’t need a contraction.”

“But I’m still confused, Professor. I’m sure someone as brilliant as you would know exactly where to insert the apostrophe.”

He cleared his throat and adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses. “In the case of a contraction with the word not, the apostrophe occurs between the n and the t, eliminating the need for—”

“The O?” She sat up. “Why, that should be criminal.”

“I assure you, it is proper. Then, there are other contractions, such as I am into I’m or you are into you’re.”

“Like You’re incredibly handsome, Professor?”

He smiled. “And you’re very clever. Apostrophes are also used as a substitute for numbers so that 1989 can simply be ’89. Sometimes words are omitted in terms like o’clock.”

“Thank you so much, Professor.”

“I’m not done, Corky.”

“You mean there’s more?”

“Yes. One of the driving purposes behind apostrophes.” Harden Hungwell slammed his thick book onto the desk and stood. “I have to show… possession.”

“Oh, yes.” She took a deep breath. “Show me now.”

He leaned toward her. “The female student’s long legs.”

“The professor’s strong hands?”

He pressed closer. “The woman’s hot lips.”

“The man’s child support payments?”

He sat back down. “You seem to have a grasp of the situation.”

“There is something that confuses me, though. What is the difference between who’s and whose?”

“Whose is a possessive adjective.” Hungwell opened a desk drawer and removed a scrap of lace. “For instance, whose panties are these in my desk?”

“Oh!” Corky giggled and snatched them from his hand. “I was wondering where I left those.”

“Who’s with an apostrophe is a contraction for subject and verb, who is.”

She stuffed the panties in her purse. “As in Who’s the father of my baby?”

Hungwell frowned. “Who is the father of your baby?”

“I can’t remember. Temporary amnesia.”

“Hmm. There’s a lot of that going around.”

“Yes.” She uncrossed her legs. “I’m afraid it’s widespread.” 

He gulped. “It’s remarkable.”

“It’s—that reminds me, how do I know the difference between its and it’s?”

“It’s with an apostrophe is a contraction for it is. For instance, it’s been a long time.”

She tugged her silk blouse away from her damp skin. “It’s hot in here?”

“Correct. And its without an apostrophe is the possessive adjective for an it, an animal or object. For example, my Cadillac convertible.” He sat on the desk beside her. “Its motor is racing.”

“Its top will go down?”

The professor’s glasses fogged up. “Its backseat is quite comfortable.”

“Its stick shift will fit snugly in my hand.”

Harden Hungwell jumped to his feet. “Corky, would you care to go for a ride?”

She slid off the desk and into his arms. “It’s about time.”

Has Corky captured the heart of Professor Harden Hungwell? Will he be able to get his stick shift out of first gear? And who is the father of Corky’s baby? Professor Hungwell or police officer Waldo Nutt? For answers to these and other pressing grammatical questions, stay tuned for more classes from Wannamarry U..

Click here to read article 1: POV 101