PRINCESS JOANNA

On page 141 of Vamps and the City, Darcy interviews each of the five harem ladies. The interviews were later edited into the reality show. Princess Joanna’s interview was scheduled to appear in the first show when the five harem women were introduced (page 142).

Darcy: Princess Joanna, we would be honored if you would tell us about yourself.

Princess Joanna: As you wish. I was born Joanna Catherine Montclef in Warwickshire, England, in the year of our Lord 1246. At the age of fifteen, I was married to Lord William Fortescue, a baron in the service of King Henry III. It was an arranged marriage, of course, but we seemed well-suited.

After a few years, William grew concerned with my failure to produce any children. This was a serious offense, for a barren woman has no value. She can even be considered an abomination for she defies the holy purpose for which a woman is designed by God. I tried desperately to conceive. William sired a few bastards in order to prove that no fault lay with him. I, however, found fault with his infidelity, and our relationship became strained.

In 1270, my husband prepared to go on the Eighth Crusade with Henry’s son, Edward Longshanks. I decided to join them in the hopes that a pilgrimage to the Holy Land would persuade the Lord to be merciful and bless me with a child. We traveled with Edward’s entourage into France, where we were joined by King Louis IX. From there, we went to Venice to complete the journey by ship.

We were invited to a banquet in an old palazzo in Venice. There was a guest there, a most interesting and handsome man. Baldassare di Fiore. He watched me all evening. I was flattered since my own husband no longer held me high regard. I asked the other guests about him, and they whispered strange things. He was a man of darkness, a man of mystery. He could work powerful magic. I was appalled...and intrigued. Toward the end of the banquet, he approached me and whispered, "Come to me. I will make your dreams come true."

In the dark hours before dawn, I donned a hooded cloak and went to him. I thought perhaps he would know a spell or possess a potion that could help me conceive. Of course, now, I realize he was controlling my mind and directing my actions, for I went straight to his palazzo without even knowing where he lived.

He said the words I most needed to hear. That I was more valuable than all the precious jewels of the Orient. That there was no woman on earth who was more beautiful of face or more gentle of heart. I...succumbed to him.

In the morning, I ran back to my husband. I did not dare tell him what I had done. I prayed all day for guidance. That evening, Baldassare came to our room in the pensione. He told my husband that I would be staying with him. I was astounded when my husband accepted it calmly and left on the ship without me. Now, I realize that Baldassare controlled him. I learned later that William died in Tunis from pestilence.

I was very happy with Baldassare, but a little curious that I never saw him during the day. In the evening, I would eat my meal alone while he went out. Then, when he returned, we would make love. One evening at dusk, I took a candle and ventured down into the cellar. There, I discovered a marble crypt. Inside was a casket. My hand was shaking, and the candlelight wavered so wildly, that I thought I must be imagining it when the casket started to open.

Baldassare sat up and looked at me. I screamed and dropped the candle. He grabbed me in the dark and told me it was time. We would be lovers forever. He transformed me that night.

We spent the evenings hunting along the dark alleys and misty canals. Then we would return to his palazzo to make love.

Years later, I grew sad because I missed England. It was difficult for vampires to travel back then, but Baldassare could never refuse me. We went to London. I...I should have never begged him to take me there. It was during the time of the Regency, and we attended some of the balls. A young vampire became enamored with me and challenged Baldassare to a duel. He...he killed my beautiful Baldassare. Of course, I would have nothing to do with that murderous fiend. But I didn’t know where to go or what to do.

When the coven master of England asked me to join his harem, I agreed. I was given the honorary title of princess, for I was the oldest vampiress in England, and they considered me royalty. Eventually, I learned to enjoy mental pleasure as vampires do, but I never wanted physical love again after losing my most precious Baldassare.

In 1950, a new coven master was selected for England. Angus MacKay, a Scotsman! Everyone knows the Scots are barbarians. I couldn’t bear it. Mr. MacKay made arrangements with Roman Draganesti to transfer me to the harem in America.

Of course, you will have heard of the recent unpleasantness. Who would ever believe that a powerful coven master like Roman Draganesti could fall for a mortal woman? I could not abide such an insult, so I decided to leave. From now on, I will be choosing my own master.